This is the song that keeps playing in my mind. Sometimes I can’t seem to shake it, or drown it out. Grief is like that, at least it is for me. This is a loneliness that may always linger in the depth of my soul. It’s not the absence of happiness, it’s the absence of the person that was always there to share the ups and the downs. I believe that my mother is in a better place and I still talk to her…. but the echo of her voice doesn’t come back to me across the phone line. I knew that eventually this time in my life would come, I have know it for quite some time. Here’s a snippet from my journal that I wrote several years ago:

Self medicating with dark chocolate?

At the time I knew I was feeling morose, but I just couldn’t get over it until I put the thoughts into writing, or perhaps it was the endorphins from dark chocolate kisses, who knows? What I do know is that my grief is a solitary emotion, a whisper, a nudge, a thought…. and I know that I was given the great gift of many bonus years to enjoy my mother, I almost lost her twice before….

It doesn’t matter who you are or how many others also grieve with you, in the end each of us deal with it in our own way.

My way is to make it tangible, so the pendant below is titled “Solivagant.”

The stone, white topaz, is said to help with clearing stagnant or negative energy, purify emotions and heal the soul. It’s also used to help one find their own path….My mom would have liked that…. But I just hope it works ; )

marnie_ehlers_solivagant

 

Copyright © Mary M. Ehlers, Good Muse Designs 2016. All rights reserved.

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